Adulting, No Thanks
September 16-22, 2019
By Cait Smith
caitlin@dailydata.com
‘Off with your head’
Fall has to be my favorite season hands down – the weather becomes chilly, the leaves turn yellow, and all the local Starbucks’ change their signs to ‘Our Pumpkin Spice Latte is Back.’ The festivities come into town to cheer everyone’s spirit with hayrides and Ferris wheels. Then the holidays follow right after; hearty meals feed the souls of the family and gift giving puts a smile on someone’s face.
What a joyous time.
If I had to choose, Halloween would be my favorite of all the fall holidays. But you should know I grew up in a Pentecostal church, so I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween. I would often get jealous watching all the other kiddos trick-or-treat for sugary sweets while I stayed in. But once the family and I migrated to Little Rock, my mom became less restricted. If I wanted to, I could participate in the classic tradition, however, by then I was 12 years old and I preferred handing out the candy and guessing the costumes. Also, haunted houses and scary movies were more my style.
Speaking of Halloween, I thought I’d indulge you guys with a funny story that involves tape, a foam mannequin head, and my friend’s car. The year was 2012, my friends and I had just left a haunted house and we were all pretty spooked. The haunted house was located far out, so the drive back home would take a while. One of my friends thought it’d be a good idea to scare the passersby through the roof window.
“And how exactly do you intend we do that?” I asked.
“I was thinking we could use this foam mannequin head, tape it to my head and I’ll put this hoodie on to cover my head – that way all you see is the mannequin,” my friend explained. “Then I’ll throw the mannequin head, that way it looks like my head fell off.”
I was confused by the idea as it was already dark, so no one would probably even notice her, but I let her go with the plan.
“Be careful, sometimes it sticks,” said my other friend who was driving, warning about the roof window. Once she was ready, she stood up and out the window. I could hear the rough winds blow as she was standing. For a moment, there was silence.
“Ash, what’s going on? You okay?” I asked while tugging on her pants. She said nothing, then came a loud thump. I jumped and screamed at the time.
“Ash!” I yelled.
I could hear screaming coming from up top. I began tugging on her pants harder. My friend who was driving started to swerve out of the lines. Then all of a sudden, a bloody hand dropped into my lap. I screamed so hard, I for sure thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.
“Hahaha, got ‘cha.” She descended from the roof window with tears in her eyes.
