Are We There Yet?

July 8-14, 2019

By Jay Edwards
jedwards@dailydata.com

I finally watched the film “Knocked Up” the other night. And it sounds a bit off calling it a film, I might add. Fred has chastised me for years because I’d never seen it. He kept saying it was one of the greatest comedies of all time, right up there with “Wedding Crashers,” (which I still haven’t seen but don’t tell Fred that). So anyway, I gave “Knocked Up,” a solid C plus. When I told that to Fred he said I didn’t know what I was talking about, which I’ve been told on more than one occasion, so he may be right. I also told him that I didn’t think it was anywhere near as funny as two of Seth Rogen’s other films … “Superbad” and “This is the End.” Oh well, arguing about movies is like arguing about politics, I tend to glaze over pretty quick.

Speaking of Seth Rogen, according to Catherine McCloskey in GQ, he is one of the hardest working stoners in show business. He’s 37 now, and besides being a writer and an actor and a producer, he’s also a philanthropist, having raised millions of dollars for his charity benefitting Alzheimer’s patients. Plus, he’s started a cannabis company in Canada, his home country. Partaking regularly of his own inventory, Rogen says, does not affect his work ethic. “I always worked hard,” he says, “because it was one of the only things I could control. I did karate as a kid at the Jewish Community Center, and when I started I was one of the worst of the 25 Jewish kids who were afraid of getting picked on. Then just because everyone else quit, three years later I was at the top of the class. That was always tangible. Just by not stopping I became the best one.” 

Rogen came by success early on, as a standup comedian when he was still a teenager, which landed him a role on Judd Apatow’s “Freaks and Geeks” on NBC. And just like that, Rogen went from cutting high school and smoking weed to working 14-hour days on the show. Naturally, he says, he still got high, saying that it helps him stay grounded. “Not a lot of people have delusions of grandeur when they're high,” he says.

So I’m bouncing back and forth between writing this column and checking Facebook, struggling to get to my 600 words that will fill my spot. I saw a post claiming that Trump says he will cure cancer during his next term. How could I not share this big news, which I saw as more of a massive breakthrough for humanity than I did as a political post. No, really. It didn’t take long for the comments to start. The funniest I’ll paraphrase from one of my high school classmates. 

Question: Mr. President, can you share with us how you plan to cure cancer?

President Trump: Not at this time, as I said, it will happen after I’m re-elected. But it will be a very big deal and will involve a lot of science stuff.

Thanks, Hawkeye.

But not to be outdone, the quarterback from our class, who we refer to as, The Quarterback, and, The Fighter Pilot, came back with a post of his own saying that Joe Biden made practically the same claim. He even had the exact date, June 11, and even used quotation marks! Biden’s statement basically summed up with, “If I’m elected president … we’re going to cure cancer.”

So there you have it. What great news from both campaigns. But as far as I know none of the other candidates has the cure, so we better pick one of these guys.

OK, looks like I hit my 600 words so I can stop now. Please hold down the cheers.