View from the Cheap Seats

September 28 - October 4, 2015

Pamper yourself

By William O. “Bill” James, Jr.

A few weeks ago, I went to Dallas to watch the Pulaski Academy football team put a whupping on Highland Park. Arriving in Dallas a little earlier than I expected, Patti and I needed to find a way to kill a few hours. First, we went and found the restaurant we were supposed to eat at before the game. We actually had a couple of drinks on the patio but decided we needed to do something adventurous and not sit there all day. The idea came out of nowhere like a lightening bolt in the dark: It was time for my first pedicure.

I have never been overly proud of my feet and they have spent the majority of their time on earth either sweaty and stinky or dry and cracked. Dry and cracked has pretty much been their constant condition over the last few years. Until this spring, I had sported a nail on my right big toe that was eaten up and deformed with a fungus that formed after I dropped a glass jar filled with two pounds of barbeque sauce on said toe some twenty eight years ago. The toenail itself was pretty freaky and kind of grew in a twisted cone shape at the end. It was very thick. I had it taken off in April. Now there is nothing but a toe with an indention where the nail once grew.

The idea of a pedicure had come up before but, I never felt right about doing it. The idea seemed a little over the top and I told myself that I did not really deserve such pampered treatment. Secretly, I wanted to do it but was afraid it would bring my manhood into question. Plus, I just wasn’t sure about the whole thing and was a little afraid. Ultimately, I threw caution to the wind and agreed to do it.

The nail salon we went to kind of reminded me of a sweat shop. It wasn’t dirty, but there was nothing overly fancy about it. They asked me if I cared whether it was a man or woman and I indicated that I had no preference. I have to admit the idea of a guy rubbing on my feet was a little unsettling and that is what I got. I sat down and they gave me a beer, that was good. Even though I found the chair to be uncomfortable, I tried to get comfortable and watch judge Judy on the television in front of me while he played with my feet.

As I watched him scrub on my feet with bricks and cheese graters. I became more and more accepting of what was going on and actually began to enjoy myself. Then, I figured out that I had a remote control for my chair so I could make myself comfortable. Things got much better. I felt a little stupid not realizing the chair could be manipulated, but don’t you think they would tell you? Maybe, my ability to project confidence even while being uncomfortable threw my foot scraper off and he thought I was a veteran.

All in all I give my pedicure an 8 on a 10 point scale. It was alright and I think I need to do it again very soon. It had been a long time since my feet felt as good as they did after the pedicure. It made me wonder why I did not do more things like that for myself. I am really too old to be a tough guy, so maybe I should start seeking out ways to help myself enjoy my existence rather than living in a world of false bravado and ultimately making things harder on myself.

Is there anything wrong with pampering oneself? It is hard to see the downside unless you are hurting yourself or others in some way. Besides, if you don’t pamper and take care of yourself, who will? To the extent we are able, we all need to start treating our bodies like a palace rather than a tent. That is true for everybody, especially those of us way up in the CHEAP SEATS!

Bill James is criminal defense lawyer and co founder of James Law Firm with offices in Little Rock, Conway and Fayetteville, Arkansas. Since the above described experience, he rubs moisturizer on his feet every morning. He may be contacted at Bill@JamesFirm.com.