View from the Cheap Seats

November 23-29, 2015

Memory stew

By William O. “Bill” James, Jr.

By my count, I am approaching my 50th Thanksgiving. I would like to think I remember all 50 with great specificity, but I doubt that I could describe any of the details of even half of the turkey days I have lived through. This bothers me a little.

I understand having trouble remembering anything that happened to me before I was six years old, but what about the other 20-30 I have no recollection of? I can only assume that at least 20 of the years I can not remember are intertwined with the memories of other years in a way I can’t tell one from the other. Unless something out of the ordinary happens, the attendance at annual family events can create a mishmash of memories that are indistinguishable from each other.

So, as I go into my 50th turkey day, I wonder what I can do to make it stand out from others and create memories that will travel with me for the rest of my life. I am talking about memories that stand out from each other. Memories that distinguish one holiday from another. Preferably, memories that are happy.

I think the first thing I need to do is come up with things the family can do that are unusual and not the norm. Traditions are great, but as we discussed above, the more events are the same the harder they are to remember individually.

I am not particularly talking about big events. Just a couple of things to make the holiday special can be more than enough. Sometimes, “special” is nothing more than something that is different from the norm.

One specific thing I am going to start doing is to have a journal of the things that happen. Things that might include an overview and highlights of the dinner or who fought with whom. It won’t be personal journal. It will be for the whole family. I will also ask all that I come in meaningful contact with to sign in and maybe give me a few thoughts of their own.

I think it would also be a good idea to take (and print) some pictures over the holiday weekend to put in the journal. Just think if you did such a journal every holiday or even a journal for every year. We are not talking about anything fancy. A small cheap binder is all you need. This is simple and cheap and something that will absolutely help you remember the holiday. It will gain value with every passing year.

I am excited about the coming holiday and hope that you are too. Remember, there is always something to be thankful for even in the worst of times. This is a great time to identify those blessings and make sure that we all do something to make someone else’s holiday even better. We all know the real secret to happiness is helping others be happy. That is true for everybody, especially those of us way up in the CHEAP SEATS!

Bill James is a criminal defense attorney and cofounder of the James Law Firm with offices in Little Rock, Conway, and Fayetteville. He has never killed turkey, but he is very good at cooking them. “You must baste!” He may be reached at Bill@JamesFirm.com.